I was blown away, moved, crying when I heart the Sean Ryan podcast with Josh Howerton, the pastor of Lake Point Church in TX… for one, I thought he was a kid but turns out he is my age… exactly…. If this journey, blog, site doesn’t illustrate my intent to share my testimony for the glory of God. My memory is shot – I can barely reach back and remember anything, especially compared to my brother and best friend.
But tonight – tonight I had vivid memories – I have been praying earnestly, internally – I have been seeking purpose, intent for so long… I have been beat to absolute shit in all metrics of life – mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually…. I didn’t know why.. I learned why last fall… then the attacks come, – waves of attacks… but I feel FORTIFIED. Since the Holy Spirit is stirring in me, sparking my memory, inspiring action… I did things completely out of character, I had the pull while driving to SD listening to the podcast, but I forgot.. of course and recalled while I was writing my latest firmament.m8n1ac.com page – of course, I run this server with 9+ websites, apps – its my largest size AWS server and it CRASHES as I am trying to do 2 things – finish my firmament site and reach out to Josh post podcast…
Like I said – demons everywhere, swarms of them beyond the veil – they attack nonstop with no reservations, no limits to their evil.. Look at humans today and the evil perpetuated – it’s beyond sick, the abuse, deaths, torture, lies, coverups – all of it. We are indeed in little g god’s world, FUck you satan, you and all associated – i banish you in the name and BLOOD of Yeshua, i cover my house, body, mind, family, wife, kids, everything associated with me in the blood of Christ..
See, even now – I became distracted in the moment and didnt finish what I started, I swear it feels like deliberate interference, but maybe I am imagining, embellishing…
Still – I felt called to write an email and send to the, im sure… completely buried email inbox, so who knows if it will be read… I just connected in a way that I hadnt since I first came to Jesus at age 12 or so, when I actually understood what it meant… since then I have been craving the same connection but it has been contaminated and I saw that clearly the night of the spiritual awakening – there is just darkness everywhere… everything you watch, hear – eat, breathe is affected…. the sickness that is the trafficking and Epstein details… monstrous, demonic .. evil.. demonstrable… worse than worst nightmare… that is true darkness – but… I had already thought about it in the moment last fall – I live my LIFE around the fact I am bipolar – 2 poles, UP/Down, Manic/Depressive… light / dark – my entire right sleeve is a tree, half dark, cryptic, eerie, vs light, vibrant, very colorful, beautiful… illustrating the dichotomy of my life… THERFORE, I look at everything through black and white lens – which hit HARD when they mentioned on podcast.. what the young kids see… what I saw… and thought “while this is the most horrific evil imaginable.. WHERE THERE IS DARK….. there is LIGHT – evil must have a counterpart, I already knew it – I’ve believed it and organically developed my relationship with God – it has not been healthy and I am one of the most unorthodox, weathered, beat down, rough around the edges Christian you will ever find.. I am proud of it.. and no moreso then ever…. my faith was bolstered to an exponential degree…. then you see through attacks, lies deceit… now on a journey to educate what I have learned… I feel I have a calling to get this out… im pretty sure my story will add weight to my testimony and absolute conviction, ‘CHRIST is KING’ –