The primary reason I didn’t want to go to the treatment center — even though I really wanted to otherwise — is that nearly everyone I reached out to for support abandoned me. That hurt as much as the event itself. By going to treatment it absolves all others from their part in any of this. Im sorry there is some SERIOUS damage that has occured in the name of my mental health.
Now, even with absolute proof the accusations were false, I was still painted as wrong. I own my shit — always have — but I was stunned watching this unfold. It felt orchestrated, yet I don’t believe it was coordinated.
Kristen called the sheriff claiming an unsafe environment because of my actions. When deputies arrived, two approached me, ready to arrest, while one stayed with her. I played an audio recording showing I was not the aggressor. They recorded it on their body cams, apologized, and left. One whispered to the deputy with her, “Be cognizant of our time, ma’am.”
I was shaking with anger. My wife had just lied to police to have me wrongfully arrested and removed from my own home. I was clearly no threat — or they would have taken me that night.
Instead, I chose to leave on my own. I knew myself. I was furious, but I walked away because I love her and refused to fulfill the prophecy. I called my brother/best friend Brandon to vent. Yeah, I used harsh language — I was livid and I am terribly sorry for what i said about her (no threat) — but I had the self-awareness to remove myself. I’m deeply sorry for the horrible things I said about her (no threats). I packed the Yukon, loaded the 450, and slept in the dirt in the dunes because of her lies.
This was the mother of all betrayals — past, present, and future combined.
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No one asked questions. They assumed the worst.
Kristen aired our dirty laundry to my parents, knowing they’d panic – IE OXY, Steroids, ‘Super Xanax’. Bodie — after I invited him, loved him, mentored him — betrayed me completely by telling his mom, who told my family.
Suddenly everyone fixated on Mexico meds as proof I’m spiraling. I’m actually the healthiest I’ve been in years physically, mentally not so much. But not of MY doing – Lithium Tolerance Syndrome
Everyone blamed me. “You baited her.” “You provoked her.” Not one word about how she spoke or that she called the cops on lies. Default villain: Darrin
Thursday – left the desert to see the boys at Swankys – Sheriff rolls through asking for me. I assumed wellness check since I was ignoring her and I thought she was going to be sorry.
Instead, went back to the desert for 1 more night and drove home in the AM.
Next day, when I arrived, Sheriff swarmed me and I was served a TRO. I had 15 minutes to gather my items and everything taken in a flash:
– Home
– Dogs
– Gym
– Office
– Toys
On 11/12 accusations (which were hers — proven by recording, Ring cams, and deputies) plus a year-old claim she suddenly dusted off (head-butting); Wheres the immediate threat? recurrence? She lived nearly full year therafter. No marks, no photos, no prior report. Convenient timing.
I drove to Alpine thinking family would have my back. Brandon and kids were
kind at first. Caitlin flipped when I arrived: “You need to leave, not welcome, not right now” Second gut punch of the day.
Unbeknownst to me – Brandon recorded our conversation after I thought my wife lied to the cops to have me arrested and leave house, WHILE i was electively leaving for the safguard of my marraige.
Called my parents — immediately agry and agaings – zero defense of me, 100% blame.
It felt identical to what happened 14 years prior with Christina – they never had my back, took a full decade to understand and admin.
Brandon shared the audio with the single worst person ever. Mom went nuclear because of the recording venting with Brandon after I chose to leave. Their minds were made well in advance.
Lastly, Brandon played it for everyone while I was getting hammered from all sides. My safest/favorite person weaponized my private venting while leaving the home to safeguard our relationsihp. — this is right after his wife tells me Im unwelcome (Parents House).
DJ (lifelong best friend) told me not to use the recording because everyone will assume I’m sinister and provoked her
Not welcome at any family homes.
Had to stay in Hotel in my home town.
Even the Nashville trip with Tim — gone.
Dad told me after church I wasn’t welcome on the cruise either.The very trip I wanted to go on SOO badly but was sad because my kids are gone and wife was not convinced. Uninvited regardless
Guilty until proven innocent. Always.
The deepest wound remains my kids cutting me off with no reason or conversation. My parents finally saw Christina for who she is last year. They apologies and empathized as they now see her true self, character. Dad used words like, “Piece of Work,” finally we are alinged, same teaam.
Then Six months ago they secretly saw Parker and orchestrated hiding, my mother blatantly lied and said only 20 Mins w Parker, Why? Lie and Hide? What did I do to these kids to make them hate me? Not can about anything with me, even when send a note about medical leave and procedures. but it was an overnighter.We never talked about that betrayal or lie because my tone of voice was most important.
Now, they claim he cut me off because of something I allegedly wrote bashing his mom. Moment I stepped up to ask questions, Dad response is yelling, pointing, “see all you do is defend”
Why don you ever DEFEND Me? Ive been asking for a reason for 4 years, never given. I havent emailed Christina in over a year and I would never put the language mentioned in writing to be used against me. In addition, I’ve searched everything — nothing exists.
Same old playbook Manufacture excuse.
No one has my back. Ever.
That’s why I didn’t want to go to treatment. Because now ANY contested point will automatically default.
“DARRIN’s Crazy, I did nothing wrong”
I cant accept that.
I was 10% off tilt going to JT Primes, then when cops called with out realy cause – (THEY LEFT ME), now I was 50% off, still seperated to safeguard…. Then TRO rips everything from me with ZERO perp or warning. This is a woman who saw me panic attach in the postal store when she kicked me out in 2017. I lost conect with her, I couldnt call, text NOTHING – I lost my everything, AGAIN
But much worse this time – ALL support vaporated, not even parts like last time.
My stability is reoutine, access and support related. She has seen this first hand and still RIPPED it all from me at once.
Then to preemptively poison them againslt by telling them about:
-
Percocet – with NO context of handling
-
Xanax – I have script, Bodie spy
NO one had my fucking back – NO one..
Brandon betrayed in the worst way..
Ensured my parenst who NEVER have my back – mind set before I arrive.
Bodie betrayed me hard – Steroid / Xanax –
Kheri – all that i have done for her… free housing, paying for everything in Vegas, dinners, shows, Stagecoach, etc. – She cant fucking defend me?
Sheri – just the day prior – after so much work on her golf cart said, ‘Got it done, no thanks to you, because I had an epidural)
As typical my own family, not a peep… even brandon is the biggest judas of them all.
I wanted to come anyways – they didnt need to do this. Now all rebuilt is lost.
I almost fucking died!